Commitment and Marriage…

  I’ve always feared commitment and marriage… To me it signified some invisible chain that keeps you from doing things for yourself and keeps you from being yourself… Having children? That too, was scary to me since it meant even more responsibilities… But don’t get me wrong though, I LOVE children, I just didn’t like the thought of having to take care of them all day long and not having time for myself..

That was before though..

It is amazing how our ideas and ideals change as we go through life’s bumps and curves… I understand now that the reason I was so scared of commitment before was because I haven’t yet met the person I wanted to commit myself to and want to live my life with.. But now that I have, everything seems to be coming to a perfect circle.

I now see myself getting married, having kids and yes, even having the problems of a married life. I guess that is the real magic of life, that you continually change and that you do not end up going solo all the way.. And that you create your own magic, your very own family and you share that family to the world.. And then they create their very own magic as well.. Its a wonderful cycle.

I’ve always had a somewhat cynical idea on the wedding ceremony, I’ve always thought it was dreadful to be wearing a gown, walking down the isle and being the center of attention was a little too much for me.. but even my perception of that has changed.. Although I still don’t see myself going through the traditional church wedding, I now see myself walking down the isle and heading towards the man I am going to marry, with tears rolling down my eyes and with a whole new life ahead of me.. The emotions are too overwhelming… Haah…

Yep.. I guess that is the next big step that is all too near I can even smell it…

It is coming allright, but I hope not to fast, the life of a single woman with a loving beau is good enough for me now.. Maybe later, like 2 years from now maybe?? Hehehe… Or maybe 5, its not a race, right? What matters is that I am emotionally and mentally ready for it and I am not scared anymore… That is already a great achievement for me.

(To all my married friends who happen to read this blog entry, please let me in on your married lives, I’d love to hear from you…)

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